


six or seven steps behind you

by CadetDru



Series: Why So Sad? [1]
Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Existential Angst, Familiars, Gray-Asexuality, Identical grandson, Killing, M/M, Master & Servant, Mildly Dubious Consent, Post-Episode: s02e09 Witches, Sexual Tension, Stalking, Vampires, not a normal coffeeshop AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:00:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25516930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CadetDru/pseuds/CadetDru
Summary: Guillermo waved the camera crew with him, trying to breathe normally. He was real. He looked like Nandor, and he was real.  He looked to the camera crew to verify. "You're seeing this too, right?" he whisper-screamed. "The... resemblance?""He's a clone," the camera operator said.Guillermo sighed. "Probably not, but if he was a clone it would be of..." he trailed off, waiting for them to fill in the blank.
Relationships: Guillermo de la Cruz & Camera Two, Guillermo de la Cruz/Nandor the Relentless, Guillermo de la Cruz/Original Character(s)
Series: Why So Sad? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1821313
Comments: 29
Kudos: 40





	1. I like to look at shadows sweating on the wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After establishing his business arrangement with the witches, Guillermo started seeing things. That wasn't completely accurate. He began seeing one thing, one person, one highly specific hallucination.

After establishing his business arrangement with the witches, Guillermo started seeing things.That wasn't completely accurate. He began seeing one thing, one person, one highly specific hallucination. 

It started on a fairly normal day.Memo's Man Milk had just made its delivery. He was taking a minute to chat with Black Peter outside the witches' lair or storefront.There was a man across the street.Tall, dark hair, broad shoulders, nose exactly like Nandor's, eyes exactly like Nandor's: Guillermo had never seen his Master in daylight, but that's what it would have looked like.He almost asked Black Peter if he saw him too, but it was just a man across a street.There was nothing to verify.

Guillermo saw the same man with the same short dark hair at a convenience store in Staten Island, walking in while Guillermo was walking out.Five seconds and Guillermo has catalogued every similarity and difference between the hallucination and Nandor.He had a similar build to Nandor, about the same height with the same broad shoulders, but a little less depth of the torso. He looked much smaller, thinner, lesser than Nandor.He was younger by either a decade or several centuries, depending on how one measured.He had the same nose and the jaw.In addition to the shorter hair, he had some fantastic stubble. 

Guillermo successfully didn't turn around and follow the man through the store. He didn't want to confirm that the man was just an illusion. The camera crew wasn't with him, so he couldn't make them show him the footage.

Guillermo saw him more and more frequently, not every time, but often enough that it was starting to wear him down. This was a new way of losing his grip on reality that Guillermo hadn't anticipated.He was still trying to reconcile aspirations of being a vampire with ancestral talent of vampire hunting.He had been trying to pull away from things like the familiar gatherings but it was a good way to tune out for a while.

The day of the meetup, Guillermo saw the man across the street from the house.He was wearing a hoodie and jeans.He was looking at the house until he saw Guillermo taking out the trash (not a body this time), at which point he kept walking down the block.The cameras weren't focused across the street. 

Guillermo didn't bother to ask the crew anything. He was getting used to them always being there, but they weren't reliable historians. They hadn't been with him every time that he'd had the hallucinations or daydreams or whatever they were.

They went to the meet-up, same as ever.He got slightly less terrifying propositions than usual. He was mostly being ignored. There was a new boy in town, a first-timer who was familiar to Penny the Dreadful. Fresh blood. Judging from the swarms pressing in on him, he was under the age of fifty, maybe even under thirty. Young blood.

Guillermo's hallucination walked straight over to him."So, you're the guy with the camera crew." He smiled at Guillermo, the kind of hungry smile that the vampires gave when they were about to pounce."That means you're Guillermo, right?" The man stuck out his hand to shake. "Andy. Penny the Dreadful's familiar."

Guillermo made himself let go of the man's hand."I will be right back." Guillermo waved the camera crew with him, trying to breathe normally. He was real. He looked like Nandor, and he was real.He looked to the camera crew to verify. "You're seeing this too, right?" he whisper-screamed. "The... resemblance?"

"He's a clone," the camera operator said.

Guillermo sighed. "Probably not, but if he was a clone it would be of..." he trailed off, waiting for them to fill in the blank.

"Nandor the Relentless," Andy said, looming over Guillermo's shoulder.He had a big smile on his face. "Sorry, I could actually still hear you and I thought I could just... join the conversation?"

Guillermo managed to babble some vaguely affirmative syllables."Absolutely," the camera operator said.

Guillermo glared at the camera.He moved out of Andy's way so the man could address the camera directly. Guillermo tried not to breathe too angrily.Andy was quite possibly younger than Guillermo, which only made him more annoying. 

"So, I'm Andrew.I'm from Toronto. My sister Layla is really into tracking our ancestry, the lineage, all that. She did the DNA swab, I didn't. Figured it was enough that one of us had, and I was right.A while ago, She got this weird notification, these super ancient DNA results. Apparently we have like 200,000 relatives who are also descended from this one guy.Nandor the Relentless."

"Oh, fuck," Guillermo said.Andy didn't respond if he'd heard Guillermo."You came from Toronto to meet Nandor the Relentless."

Andy shook his head, still looking towards the camera."I came to Staten Island for that.I came from Toronto to Brooklyn five years ago." He seemed to be giddy just talking to them, if only because this was a connection to Andy's roots. "From what I've heard, Nandor the Relentless is this amazing hunter, strategist, conqueror. I have to meet him."

All of that was technically true. The way that Andy was saying made Guillermo worry that he was just a plant, a trap from the vampire council or some other enemies of the vampires. Guillermo had settled into a kiss-or-kill strategy, either win the enemies over like he had done with the witches or just dispatch them like he had with so many others.He didn't want to kill Andy, leaving another option.

Andy stuck his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "Do you want to get coffee sometime?" he said. "I know a place…"

"Sometime?" Guillermo echoed. He hadn't processed the question.

"Like, tomorrow?" Andy smiled too easily, too quickly. "Since I came to Staten Island, I keep almost running into you, and I've been trying to find a way to ask you out. For coffee. To talk."

"Yeah, sure," Guillermo said. "It's my day off tomorrow anyways." He did not add that Andy had probably worked out that pattern from staking out the house.

They exchanged contact information and set a time at the place Andy knew.When he walked away, Guillermo widened his eyes to the camera."Serial killer?" he mouthed.

"You or him?" the camera operator asked, and it was a valid point. The documentary crew were silent witnesses to the various crimes that Guillermo committed on a regular basis. His body count included victims to feed his vampires and now vampires to protect his vampires.

He went home and hinted to Nandor that he might have found another descendant.Nandor immediately sent Guillermo out to find a plush bat, then insisted on coming along with him.Guillermo tried to enjoy their time together, and did not tell Nandor any of the details he had about Andy.He did not tell Nandor about the coffee date.He did tell Nandor that he was still taking his day off, and that he wouldn't arrange Nandor to meet his many-greats-grandson until Guillermo would be there at his side.


	2. if you knew my infinite charm

Guillermo tried to stay as awake as he could during the day on his days off.He wanted to savor the time he had to himself. He decide to go to the coffee shop where he was supposed to meet with Andy early. 

The camera crew came along for coffee. They were as eager to talk to another descendant of Nandor's as Guillermo was.As a unified team, they steered themselves for whatever was going to happen next.

Andy appeared to work at the coffeeshop.He was wearing an apron over black clothes.He lit up when he saw Guillermo.When Andy hadn't known that Guillermo was looking, the light was gone. They'd "accidentally" run into each other enough that Guillermo had been able to see the difference.The light had nothing to do with Guillermo himself, and everything to do with the vampiric presence that still lingered on him. If that was enough to make Andy pleased to see Guillermo than it was enough.

"Hey! I was just going on my lunch break!" Andy said, rushing towards Guillermo.

"I know I'm early," Guillermo started to say, not sure what explanation he was going to have. 

"I scheduled it for whenever you came in. Here, let me make you something first. On the house. Latte?"

"Sure. That's so sweet," Guillermo said, frantically looking to the camera. He took a seat and waited for Andy to come to him. He gratefully took his drink. There was a heart in the foam. 

"Is your boyfriend okay with your being here?" Andy said, drawing out the words. He even hit the corner of his lip.It was unreal. 

Guillermo couldn't stop himself from smiling. "I don't have a boyfriend," Guillermo said.Nandor didn't count, because Guillermo would never count for him.He wasn't the right type.Nandor didn't seem to have any one type, but cuddly humans didn't seem to be on the list.

"Oh!" Andy said, and Guillermo remembered that they were talking. "I mean, your girlfriend then?" The words sounded even more awkward.Both men winced.

Guillermo couldn't stop himself looking at the camera. "I don't have a girlfriend," he said, trying and failing to be casual. "Do you...?"

"Oh, I'm totally single. I'm focused on figuring out if I want to be a vampire or not.Not that I'm not open to the idea of a relationship." Andy was back-pedalling.

He started to explain his life and its current crossroads. He wanted to know more about his ancestors so he could decide how far he wanted to follow them. 

Guillermo could have had this.If he'd stayed at Panera Bread, this would have been a natural progression. He could settle down, have a real life.He could have a nice, normal boyfriend with a nice, normal job at a nice, normal coffee shop.He could be happy with someone like Andy.He'd made a series of life choices over the course of ten years that took him away from this path. 

This could be a chance, if he tried. He was addicted to just being around Nandor, to the idea that one day Nandor would realize what he had in Guillermo. He didn't have stay addicted. He could find something to take up his time and attention. Someone close enough to help forget. 

The things that they were talking about were just unusual enough to attract attention -- and not just the camera crew.The talked quietly and sat close to one another. 

Andy touched Guillermo's hand, his wrist, shoulder. Guillermo had daydreamed of being casually touched by someone just like Andy for over a decade. The idea that he was attracted to his master was well established. He wasn't paying attention to what Andy was actually saying.

"You okay?" Andy asked. He actually seemed to care.

"Sorry, haven't been sleeping well."

"Hazard of the profession," Andy said. "Penny doesn't need much from a familiar so I don't have to worry about that."

Guillermo didn't know if that was unusual or common so he didn't know what to say.

"I really took the spot with Penny so I could have a reason to be here," Andy confided.

"Jesus," Guillermo said, trying to keep his voice down. Andy wasn't his way out.

"She is not a fan of Nandor.I guess she was his familiar for a while? For a long while. It ended badly.I really think he's… well, I don't want to say he's a bad guy, but." Andy stopped, smile gone."You've been with him for a while, right? Don't you want to be a vampire?"

"He doesn't think I'm ready yet." Guillermo didn't know how long Penny had been Nandor's familiar, he hadn't ever even heard of her before. He hadn't heard a lot about Nandor's time on Staten Island.

Andy nodded, taking it seriously. "How does he determine when you're ready? Is there something you're supposed to be able to do or know?"

That was a question that Guillermo couldn't answer. He didn't want to think about it too much. He just shrugged. He pulled back from Andy.

"I should go back to work," Andy said.He stood up.

"Right. Of course." Guillermo stood too.

"You too?" Andy said.

"Not until sunset," Guillermo said. "Would tomorrow night work?"

"What?" Andy said. He looked confused, which made him look more like Nandor. 

"Nandor wants to meet you," Guillermo said, finally getting to the point."I didn't tell him your name or anything, just that you exist."

"Oh my god, that's amazing!" Andy said. "Can I… Can I hug you? Would that be weird?"

Guillermo nodded a little, frozen where he stood.The camera operator choked on a laugh as Andy wrapped his arms around Guillermo.Guillermo tried not to push him away.

Andy kissed Guillermo's forehead. "This is absolutely fantastic!" He let go of Guillermo, who had forgotten how to breathe for a moment. 

Andy's dazzling broad smile was still glued to his face.They talked out the logistics of when Andy would be able to come to the house. He already knew the address.  Guillermo tried not to think about that. 


	3. I get excited when I hear footsteps down the hall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guillermo led him to sit by the fire, to relax and unwind. He got Nandor out of his coffin at the appropriate moment and helped with the last-minute touches. He was serving his Master and bringing him a relative and/or introducing a potential new boyfriend to his boss. He didn't like living in the "and/or" because he had enough of that with being a familiar and/or vampire hunter.

Guillermo was used to the unending task of cleaning the house.Andy was going to come and meet Nandor.Andy, whose master quite possibly knew of the assassins. Andy, who was the definition of dreamy.Andy was a trap for everyone in the house, except maybe one. 

Colin Robinson was waiting for Guillermo in the hallway as he moved from room to room. Colin's eyes were glowing his usual unnatural blue. Guillermo would ave been tired of it even if he wasn't actually draining Guillermo's energy.Colin waved his hand in a circle towards Guillermo. "Whatever you've got going on, I am loving it."

Guillermo pressed his lips together. "I might need your help tonight. Nandor has a guest coming, a human. I don't trust him, but I don't want to hurt him."

The blue eyes faded and closed. "Alrighty, it's a date."

Guillermo shuddered and went back to his cleaning. Contingencies were in place, the house was relatively clean, he had his usuallayers of sweaters to wear.

The doorbell rang well before dusk."He's early," Guillermo told the cameras.

Andy hugged him as soon as he opened the door. "Hi!" Andy said, pulling away. "Sorry, I'm just so excited.I have a plan, and it's going to be wonderful." He smiled at the camera, frowned when he looked past them.

"Thisis Colin Robinson.He's a psychic vampire."

"Don't mind me, just watching and waiting."

Andy took a few moments to talk with Colin about what being an energy vampire entailed. He was actually interested, which frustrated Colin. He left the two of them alone.

"So, almost sundown," Guillermo said, shooting for a kind of shy seduction.It appeared to work, because Andy kissed Guillermo. It was easy to imagine it was Nandor, that ten years of longing had finally laid off. It wasn't fair, but t was easy. He tried to be gentle, he tried to hold back. Everything was just a little wrong.

"Nandor," Guillermo breathed, instantly regretting it.

"Is he up?" Andy said.Guillermo didn't know if he was being kind or hurt or if he really didn't realize what had just happened.

Guillermo took a deep breath to prepare for his lies. "Well, it's getting close to sunset..."

Andy straightened Guillermo's glasses and collar."Gotta keep you looking good for your master."

"Need all the help I can get there."

"That isn't true." Andy smiled down at him, gently touched Guillermo's hair. They kissed again."Cold in here." Andy said, pretending to shiver. 

Guillermo led him to sit by the fire, to relax and unwind.He got Nandor out of his coffin at the appropriate moment and helped with the last-minute touches.He was serving his Master and bringing him a relative and/or introducing a potential new boyfriend to his boss.He didn't like living in the "and/or" because he had enough of that with being a familiar and/or vampire hunter.

Nandor's smile bloomed slowly, and didn't have the same unguarded radiance of Andy's.Guillermo hated that he was comparing the two and finding his Master wanting.He didn't tell Nandor about Andy skulking around the house.Nandor did impulsive things sometimes.Guillermo didn't want anything to happen to Andy or because of Andy.

Nandor presented Andy with the bat.Andy held it up to the camera and made it fly in a dizzy little circle. 

Guillermo maneuvered around the camera to leave, to give Nandor at least an illusion of privacy. He needed to check the perimeter to see if any vampires were scheming to get in.

"Guillermo, don't go," Nandor scolded at the same time Andy said "don't go" in a soft lost voice.Either one would have been enough.The combination made him want to run. 

Guillermo didn't pay attention to what they were talking about. It was mostly just Nandor telling old stories about how great he was and Andy just taking it all in. Guillermo would have green more interested in hearing about Andy's much shorter life, but Nandor didn't seem to care and Andy didn't mind. What little that Andy did get to share was that he had no countries or wives that he'd conquered and no horses. Nandor disapproved. Nandor was reclining in his seat, enjoying the attention.Andy was leaning forward, hands clasped together, listening intently to every word.

"I could be your familiar," Andy said to Nandor. 

"What?" Guillermo said. He'd missed something, too busy watching the two men.

Andy looked at him, a sad and apologetic smile."Sorry, I'm not trying to take Guillermo's place or anything."

Nandor looked to Guillermo, startled and confused."No, I could never have family serve me." Nandor grimaced."It wouldn't be right. I couldn't drink your blood.It would be..." he trailed off, waving his hand to find the right word.

Andy had many words to describe why his idea was a bad one."Too soon? Incest? Like looking into a mirror and then telling it what to do? Auto cannibalism? Difficult to maneuver due to height? Not appealing because I'm not a virgin?"

"Yes, yes, one of those." Nandor's grimace faded. "So, you know why I couldn't have that."

Andy looked to Guillermo.He quickly looked back to Nandor, and resumed asking questions about when, exactly the Good Old Days had been and what they were like.Nandor got bored, eventually, and dismissed Andy saying that he must be tired.Andy took the hint and tried to hint that he might come back.

Guillermo walked Andy out, silently fuming.Andy wrapped an arm around Guillermo. "I could be your familiar when you become a vampire." When Guillermo parted his lips to speak, Andy leaned in for a quick kiss."Good night."

Guillermo stood for a few moments, watching Andy walk down to the street, before shutting the door.When he turned, Colin Robinson was feeding and the camera crew was nearly vibrating with nervous energy.

"Did that just--" Guillermo started, addressing any of them.

"I thought you didn't kiss and tell," the camera operator said.

Guillermo hesitated. "Fuck you."


	4. say I'm wasting my time but I know what to do with it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When he got back to the house, the cameras and vampires were immediately in his face. None of them asked where he'd been. Guillermo did not talk to Cameron and Steph or the others whose names kept falling out of his head. Colin Robinson kept hovering near him, gorging on this emotional turmoil.

Andy and Guillermo went on dates for a few weeks, quietly spending time together.It felt like an affair; Guillermo didn't want Nandor to know that he was seeing Andy on the side.He didn't let himself think what it was on the side of.

The working theory was that Andy hadn't been sent by the vampiric council and was just a potentially unstable man.This theory was in no way reassuring or a deterrent. Guillermo went to the coffee shop where he worked and lingered.The camera usually followed him, especially when it was Cameron (camera) and Steph (sound). They seemed incredibly interested in any and all romantic interactions Guillermo had, and frequently had side conversations about it that he tried to tune out. Steph seemed to think he was cheating on Nandor, betraying his trust. Cameron seemed to just be happy that Guillermo was happy. Guillermo wasn't sure if he was.

Guillermo wasn't going to stay in this self-imposed limbo much longer. He was getting closer to some kind of expiration date.Whatever he was facing, Andy wasn't going to be there with him.Guillermo was either going to completely cut ties with Nandor (and all dreams of becoming a vampire) or lean completely into it and become the leader of the house with Nandor as his (demisexual? homoromantic) consort. Neither path had a way to include any kind of sexual and/or romantic relationship with Andy.

Andy invited Guillermo to his place, which was not with Penny.Guillermo demurred and declined.Guillermo didn't want to go somewhere more private, didn't want any kind of increased physical or emotional intimacy with Andy. Cameron and Steph made quiet statements about sexuality being a spectrum and what ace and aro meant to them.Guillermo argued the aromantic point.

To make the two of them stop, and prove something about himself that he wasn't sure of, he went to Andy's with Steph and Cameron in tow.Nothing happened, aside from a few stolen kisses.Andy always took his breath away.

The next time, Guillermo was accompanied by the camera crew that didn't include Steph and Cameron. They were much less judgmental.He hadn't realized how much input they'd been giving him on this relationship.

The next time, he went alone.He didn't need a chaperone. His goal was to maybe do the kinds of things that non-exhibitionists might do off-camera. 

They ate dinner. Afterwards , they sat on Andy's couch, fingers interlaced. "We need to talk," Andy said, squeezing Guillermo's hand.

Guillermo's heart sank. 

"Penny is on the Vampiric Council," Andy said.

"Okay," Guillermo said, not sure where it was going. 

"You know why this is a problem? My master is on the Council and your master is...relentless."

"I don't know what you mean," Guillermo said, extracting his hand from Andy's grasp.

"You're a really bad liar," Andy said

"Andy, I don't want to talk about whatever this is," Guillermo said. "Can't we just be ourselves, together? Forget about everything else, about vampires and whatever."

"I want to, but I can't," Andy said. "Nandor the Relentless doesn't relent.If an assassin is sent after him, and another, and another, then he'd handle it."

There was no camera for Guillermo to give a knowing look to. Guillermo stood to get some space and to glare down at Andy. "You think Nandor's killing assassins. Is that why you're here? Why I'm here?"

"No, or at least it wasn't. Penny encouraged me to seek Nandor out," Andy said. "She thinks it is happening. That he's killing his own kind."

"Well, she's wrong."

"I'm not trying to get you to choose between me and Nandor," Andy said, standing up. 

"That's pretty much exactly what you're doing," Guillermo said, looking up at Andy.Andy was younger, fitter, and taller.Guillermo still knew he could destroy this man."You won't win.You have to know that."

"He's lucky to have you," Andy said

"You probably shouldn't come to the house. I shouldn't have let you in."

"I'm not an assassin," Andy said. "Look at me."

"You look like a conqueror."

"I'm a familiar," Andy said. "Just like you."

"You're nothing like me," Guillermo said. 

Andy moved towards him, and Guillermo felt his first pinprick of fear. He grabbed his coat and walked out. 

When he got back to the house, the cameras and vampires were immediately in his face. None of them asked where he'd been.Guillermo did not talk to Cameron and Steph or the others whose names kept falling out of his head.Colin Robinson kept hovering near him, gorging on this emotional turmoil.


	5. I'm like a hungry criminal and your protection is minimal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Give him some space," Steph suggested.
> 
> "Go after him," Cameron suggested.
> 
> Guillermo listened to Cameron, because he was saying just what Guillermo wanted to hear. Guillermo went to the coffee shop. The camera crew went with them, even though Steph kept saying it was a bad idea and didn't Guillermo want to check on Nandor? Wasn't he choosing Nandor, the devil that he knew, over this angel that he didn't?

Guillermo avoided Andy as much as you could be said to avoid someone you were sort of stalking who was sort of stalking you.This meant that Guillermo spent a lot of his daylight hours at the coffeeshop. He didn't tell the camera crew what exactly was wrong. This just fed into the ongoing discussion between Steph and Cameron about sexuality in general. 

"We had a fight. I accused him of wanting me to choose between him and Nandor."

"That seems like a difficult choice," Cameron said. 

"Give him some space," Steph suggested.

"Go after him," Cameron suggested.

Guillermo listened to Cameron, because he was saying just what Guillermo wanted to hear. Guillermo went to the coffee shop.The camera crew went with them, even though Steph kept saying it was a bad idea and didn't Guillermo want to check on Nandor? Wasn't he choosing Nandor, the devil that he knew, over this angel that he didn't?

Andy was there, wiping down some tables. He didn't seem surprised or happy to see Guillermo. "Hey," he said. That old giddy smile, from just a few days ago, started to play over his face. 

"I think we need to talk," Guillermo said.

"Okay," Andy said."I was hoping you'd stop by."

"I need you to promise me that Nandor is going to be safe," Guillermo said.

"He sent you to beg in his behalf?"

"What? No. No, of course not.He doesn't know I'm here.He didn't..." Guillermo looked to the camera."I'm asking you."

"With them as your witness.Have they seen what Nandor's been doing?"

Steph laughed, turning it into a cough.

"You know," Andy said to Steph."You've seen his crimes. You could tell the Council."

The incredulous look on her face wasn't captured on camera, not Guillermo got to see it. She laughed out loud at Andy looming over her. His adamant anger turned into confusion as she stared up at him."I see the family resemblance now," she said."I thought you were smarter."

"Steph," Cameron said.He tried to wordlessly convey an apology for his colleague's lack of objectivity and professionalism. 

Steph cleared her throat. "Sorry, let's start over. Andy, for some reason, Guillermo thinks he needs to ask you leave Nandor the Relentless alone.Clearly, you would just do that in your own to make sure you kept on breathing. He's trying to help you out. Your response?"

Andy stopped staring at her to stare at Guillermo. "Why do you choose to live your life this way? You make yourself weaker by surrounding yourself with idiots that you think are going to protect you."

Steph pointed to herself and tilted her head to the side, wordlessly asking Guillermo if she was. He tried not to laugh.

"You're better than this," Andy said.

"I need to know that Nandor's safe."

"Well, I'm not an assassin, am I?" Andy said, throwing his arms wide. He quickly looked around to see if anyone had heard him, looked at them. The camera was still doing its trick of confounding and clouding suspicions.

"Are you?" Guillermo asked.

"You're so paranoid!" Andy shouted, again looking around as the echo of his words reverberated through their skulls.

"I have every reason to be, from what you said!" Guillermo said, matching Andy's tone.They were officially moving towards making a scene."I've been with him for over ten years.I would die for him.You're not even--"

"Not even what," Andy said.

Guillermo looked away, away from both Andy and the camera. He wasn't crying."I have to go," he said. 

"This isn't over," Andy said. It wasn't a threat, wasn't a plea. Guillermo wasn't sure what it was.It made Steph laugh as they left the coffee shop.

They stopped to get him coffee ice cream on the way home.It was a friendly gesture balanced with their wanting him to talk about what happened on camera.

"You don't need him," Cameron said, prompting him to start talking again. "He's a creep."

"I'm the creep here. I scared him off."

"You're not a creep," Cameron said. "You're just...you." His fond smile didn't hit Guillermo in the same way that Andy's did. 

"I think everyone can be 'a creep' here," Steph said."Everyone but Nandor."

"He'd be better off without me," Guillermo said.

"Nandor or Andy?"Steph said at the same time that Cameron said, "What does that mean?"

"I can't give him what he needs," Guillermo said.

"Again I ask which one," Steph said.

"Both," Guillermo said.

"Nandor needs you!" Steph said. "We have hours of footage of him needing you.Hours."

"Thanks for the ice cream," Guillermo said. "I'm not really hungry.I need to figure some things out."

"You need to get out of your head," Cameron said.

"It feels a little crowded in here."

Steph nodded, Cameron frowned, and they left Guillermo in peace. He was alone with his thoughts.There was still too much.


	6. I like to look at shadows sweating on the wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guillermo looked down at the partially disintegrated corpse that he'd created. "This is exactly what it looks like," he said, because honesty was the best policy.

Andy came over early the next morning as Guillermo was killing a vampire assassin. He wasn't invited. He just stopped by unannounced while Guillermo was handling his pre-dawn business. Guillermo had turned the broom he was wielding as a weapon back into normal cleaning equipment. He was trying to clean up the mess that he'd made when he saw the tall, shaking man.

"What are you doing here?" Guillermo said. 

"The front door was unlocked, and I thought we might..." Andy managed to squeak out. All the blood had drained from Andy's face.His jaw hung slack.His breathing was accelerating.Guillermo didn't (yet) have vampiric hearing, but he assumed that Andy's heart was racing.

Guillermo looked down at the partially disintegrated corpse that he'd created. "This is exactly what it looks like," he said, because honesty was the best policy.

Andy nodded. "I was just going to see if Nandor..." he trailed off, shaking his head as he stared at the floor.

"You can't just come by unannounced," Guillermo said, dropping the broom.

"I get that," Andy said. He looked at Guillermo, walked towards him, "it's been you, this whole time."

"Did the Council send you?" Guillermo asked.It wouldn't be that hard to dispose of a human.None of his vampires would eat Andy, but he could find someone who hated Nandor.

"No, they'd never send a human. They don't know anything about me.I'd just be food." Andy leaned into whisper: "You killed a vampire. That's the worst kind of murder there is."

"For vampires.We're not vampires. We're humans. And I've killed humans too. I'm a killer. It's what I do."

The threat landed.Andy's beautiful eyes were wide, his pupils black voids."I...don't think we should see each other any more."

"I don't think so either," Guillermo said. 

"And I can't see Nandor while you're still his familiar. " Andy said, using a different of "see."

"Of course," Guillermo said, as if it made any kind of sense. "I just want him to be safe," he added to justify his actions.

"You certainly seem to be guaranteeing that."

"I owe him that much."

"You don't owe him anything.You're not blood. He's never fucked you." His voice got higher with his escalating words.

Guillermo wanted to see what else Andy had to say. "You didn't get to either," he said when it was clear that Andy was done.

"I did feel something for you," Andy said.

"Feel fear," Guillermo said.

"Does Nandor fear you?"

"You shouldn't worry about him," Guillermo said. "He's my concern."

Andy nodded. "Whatever you say."

"Yeah, you can go now.You're officially and formally uninvited and so's your master. Never darken our door again or whatever."

Andy frowned, unsure if that was a real ritual or if Guillermo was just upset. It was just a string of words that Guillermo put together to make himself seem like he was following some ancient rite.

"Get the fuck out of my house," Guillermo said.That did the trick.

He backed up, keeping his eyes on Guillermo and stumbling all the way out of the house.

"Fuck," Guillermo said.

Steph and Cameron didn't say anything. The divide between the crew an the subject was back in place. 

At sunset, Guillermo explained to Nandor that Andy wasn't going to be able to see them any more because of his own master.This was true.PHe added that Andy was going to be going back to Toronto. It seemed likely. Nandor nodded knowingly, like that was an understandable and insurmountable obstacle.Guillermo offered a hug.Nandor declined. 

The night passed by quietly enough. Guillermo's heart was broken and Nandor was a little sad.Nandor didn't question the need for Andy's absence, didn't seem to be scheming to get around it.He didn't even ask any more questions.

At sunrise, Guillermo got out the ice cream and considered his next steps. The camera crew was giving him some space and some time to process.

Nandor had briefly had his family back.What was stopping Guillermo from returning to his own family? Guillermo started packing up his things and looking for pen and paper, grateful not to have the cameras on him.


	7. Gonna get close to you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A vampire's familiar became a vampire killer. He was adorable, delicious, wanted by every vampire that met him and many humans as well. He sparked loyalty in most, love in some. 
> 
> Then a man came, looking for his ancient ancestor. He fell in love with the vampire killer, before he was a vampire. His ancestor had laid claim there. He was scared away by the killer.

Andy left Staten Island, not to return. He continued his vague service of Penny. He looked for other descendants of Nandor's. He put his life back together. He didn't think about the man he'd met in Nandor's home, the man that he'd gone looking for.   
  


He didn't go back to the house in Staten Island again. Didn't "just happen to" go to the places where Guillermo might have been. He'd read Guillermo completely wrong. 

He learned his lesson and moved on with his life. He kept the plush bat that Nandor had given him, the knowledge that he'd stolen. He tried to forget more than he'd learned. 


End file.
